Are We Losing Ourselves in the Digital Dopamine Rush?

When did swiping replace face-to-face interactions? I explore how online dating fuels our dopamine cravings, but leaves us feeling disconnected. Studies show this online rush is unhealthy, yet we often choose the lazy swipe instead of connecting in-person.

Are we more interested in building genuine connections or chasing endless entertainment?

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Transcript

Intro

Speaker 0:14

This is Shamron, and you're listening to Open Hearts, Hidden Truths. So I was chatting last night with someone that I matched with on an app. They usually start off the same way. And they usually end the same way. Hey, you look great. Oh, thanks. You too. What are you up to? I just got back from Runyon. You? I'm just cooking dinner. What are you cooking? Chicken. Oh, a classic. So what are you looking for? Well, like my bio says, I'm looking to connect. I'm unboxed in as to what that means. No expectations. And then that's usually the end of it. Online interactions consist of a ten to twenty second dopamine hit. And that's it. No follow through. People don't want to connect in person. All of this online drivel is so hollow. It's so meaningless. There's very, very little commitment initially. Short term, open to long term, still figuring it out. You know, all these little things that indicate very low commitment, which is cool. That's fine. But there's low commitment and then there's no commitment. There's digital commitment only. A short little interaction, and then you're on to the next match. Or you're looking for your Instagram followers. You have all of those people. They're on a dopamine heavy app seeking further dopamine. Digital dopamine. I feel like it's an epidemic. Our unwillingness to want to connect in person. I want to connect in person. I want to connect in a multitude of ways, but in person is definitely one of the ways that I wish to connect. Could mean coffee, could mean a gym buddy, it could be anything really. It could be something in the biblical sense. Let me be pleasantly surprised if something magical occurs. We don't know how to socialize anymore. We don't know how to interact with each other if it doesn't involve a screen. We just expect our thumbs to move a couple inches here and there, back and forth, up and down. That's our version of connecting in the modern world. That's wild. Wildly pathetic. S&P Global found that people spend 53 minutes less per day on social outings, standard social outings, compared to 2019. That's nearly an entire workday per week. The share of adults who visited a movie theater monthly dropped from 39% in 2019 to just 17% in 2025. We're not connecting. We're not connecting face to face across all age brackets. But especially I've found with younger age brackets, with guys in their 30s, for instance. They're very, very, very easy to connect with and want to connect online. They love to chat back and forth. Even connections that seem promising, when it comes time to making a plan, these guys don't want anything to do with it. They don't want to connect in person. I don't know. Is it laziness? Is it laziness? Is it convenience? Even though we're becoming more and more isolated, and all the studies show that it's contributing to depression, to anxiety, to all these really unhealthy habits and traits and behaviors, we are still choosing the isolation. Not all of us. A lot of us would like to connect in person, but a lot of us are choosing social isolation. Because I guess it's easier to scroll, to swipe right, to swipe left. You know, people looking for no strings, people being unsure of what they want. Even that level equals no commitment. They can't even commit to no strings. They can't get beyond their screen. They don't want to. They can't be bothered to make a plan. It's not just in LA. It's not just in the U.S. The World Health Organization had a 2024 study, and they found that 36% of kids aged 11 to 15 reported being in constant online contact with their peers across 44 countries. So people spanning the globe are getting their connections digitally versus in person. Is this the new normal? Is this just the start of the new normal? Is it going to get worse? Is it going to be even more difficult to communicate with people, to connect with people face to face going forward? The bar is already so, so low. It's hard to imagine it could get even lower, but I guess it could. Some of us more than others. But that's never going to replace face-to-face communication. We need that as humans. We're not supposed to be hiding behind screens. And our attention span. I mean, it's like if I meet somebody who can actually have a conversation longer than a day or two, it's amazing. The whole point of that conversation, that text exchange, is to have it lead to something something in person. Whatever. Meet up at the gym. Grab an appetizer, go for a walk, something. The bar is low. However low that bar is, lower it further. Lower your expectations even further. It's challenging. It is impossible for a great many people. No passion, no desire to take things to the next level. And I mean, we're not talking about marriage here. We're talking about something as simple as going outside, walking over to a destination or driving and meeting up. I think COVID contributed to a lot of this. Post-COVID, yeah, we're used to staying in more. We're used to downloading things, watching movies on Netflix, whatever. And I think maybe we just got really used to isolation. That's not normal. It's not healthy. It's not satisfying. Even the lure of sex or potential sex, getting laid, that's not enough to get some guys out, away from their screen, interacting like a normal human being. So where does this leave us? I don't know. Where does this leave us as a society? I have no idea. More depression, more anxiety, more isolation, which you would think would prompt us to reach out more and to get out of our comfort zone, our shell, to get out of our screen. Because it's causing us pain. It's causing us to feel shitty. But no, we're embracing that. We're saying this is making me feel like shit. Give me more of it. Because it's easy. Because it's convenient. And I can keep scrolling past the next distraction and then the next distraction. And I can give my brain that cheap ass dopamine. It's definitely a generational thing. And I think it's happening to all generations, but it's happening to very specific generations, way more than to others. To those who grew up in the digital age, who grew up on Snapchat, TikTok, IG, all of those apps. They're addicted. But the good news is that a lot of people are tired of staring at a screen and letting their thumbs do the talking. And those people who want to seek genuine connection, they will continue to seek it out because they're tired of the same old, same old. Much like me. So it just widens the divide between those who are genuinely seeking fulfillment through relationships, through connections, and those who want to gaze into a screen and gorge on online content and have their ego stroked and have those quick fix connections. Aren't you tired of social media? Tell the truth. Aren't you tired of all of it? I know we're not going to get rid of it. I'm not I'm not suggesting that's ever, ever gonna be a factor. That's never gonna happen. It is now baked into our DNA, into life, into humanness, all of it. This is the way it is going forward. But aren't you sick of it? Aren't you a little burnt out on this shit? I'm burn out. I'm burnt out on meaningless interactions. If you could go back in time where social media didn't exist, where the internet didn't exist, would you? Would you trade what we have now and go back to a simpler time? All your apps, all your convenience, and all the frustrations that come with that, including lack of privacy, stolen identities, all of the craziness that comes with the digital era. Would you trade that? Would you want to go back to a more quiet, simpler, more authentic time? When I look at videos and clips and commercials, everything from the eighties and nineties, and I feel like, okay, take me back. And yes, I realize the irony of looking at those clips and revisiting that time precisely because of modern technology. I wouldn't get to revisit any of those nostalgic elements if it weren't for the apps and for the internet. It's baked in. It's baked in. But I know there's other people that want to connect. Face to face, real connection. There just aren't as many of those types of people out there now. But it makes them that much more special. And it makes those types of connections that much more special when they do happen. What are you feeling? Talk to me.