Open Hearts, Hidden Truths
Open Hearts, Hidden Truths is a new podcast where the raw meets the revelatory – secrets, realizations, and turning points that reshape who we become.
First-time and never-again experiences, in particular, compel us to evolve.
Through personal confessions and guest stories, we explore transformative shifts and uncover the hidden truths that connect us all.
Episodes released every other Tuesday.
Open Hearts, Hidden Truths
Beyond the Scalpel: Up Close and Personal with Dr. David Stoker
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I sit down with world-renowned Los Angeles plastic surgeon, Dr. David Stoker. We discuss his passion for transforming lives, how GLPs have reshaped the field, and my own personal experience under his care.
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This is Shamron, and you're listening to Open Hearts, Hidden Truths. Joining me today is a very special guest I'm really excited about. Dr. David Stoker, board certified plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. He's been in practice for over two decades. He's performed over 20,000 procedures. Thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 2It's great to be here, Shamron. Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1How are you?
Speaker 2I'm doing great. Just uh in the middle of my uh work day. Uh it's a beautiful sunny day outside. Um you know, one of the joys that we have here in Marina Del Rey, where my practice is, is that we we're on the tenth floor right on the water of the marina. So we overlook 3,000 sailboats and the Pacific Ocean and Palos Verdes to Malibu and Catalina, and it's it's always different outside, but you know, it brings us a lot of joy.
Speaker 1I've seen that view a couple times because I've been to your office a couple times. So I first discovered you uh during a Google search. Um I was researching a procedure, and that led me to your Instagram, and then that led me down a rabbit hole watching some of your videos on Instagram. And something that I really something that struck me right away. First off, I loved your results. Every patient I was looking at was like, okay, this is so natural. This is exactly what I'm after. And then what I also appreciated was was you, your manner, your bedside manner, the way you explained things. I felt very comfortable right off the bat, just watching your videos. Those videos compelled me to give your office a call. And then we we scheduled something. And I didn't make any other actually, no, I did make another appointment with someone else for consultation. After my consultation with you, I cancelled on him and I put something in the books.
Speaker 2I love it. And it's fairness, you had some previous experience earlier in life with other doctors too, of course, right?
Speaker 1So it wasn't like your first rodeo. It wasn't my first rodeo, and um they were they were perfectly fine. I I really like them, nothing bad to say at all about them. So I'll tell you something that I appreciate about you. You underpromise and you over-deliver. And I'll give you an example. So one of the procedures that you did on me, you redid my my resin plans. So I had done them, I had hadn't done previously. This was the third the third time. And during our consultation, I remember I asked you, do you think that you can push these a little further closer together? I've got a little bit of a gap here. Not a big deal if you can't do it, but if you could, I'd be thrilled. You said, No, I don't think I can do that. Your anatomy is now. I said, Okay, no biggie. Then I woke up from surgery. I looked down at my chest, lo and behold, they were significantly closer together. And I was I was ecstatic, but I was a little shocked because you had you had gotten done telling me no, Shamron, I don't think that's possible. So I was like, you know what, that's the way to surprise somebody.
Speaker 2Well, we like pleasant surprises, that that is for sure. And you know, I obtained some gray hairs uh over the years, a little bit of wisdom doing uh thousands of these cases. So so uh yes, I think that you know that that is a nice goal where people want more medial fullness. And you know, so many times we are able to achieve it, but sometimes your anatomy fights against it and or you don't want to go into the the size or style of implant that would uh necessarily achieve that. So so there are different ways to just push up bras still, like to accomplish that goal for patients. But I definitely, if other good surgeons have done your surgery, and you've always gone to good surgeons, um, and things didn't work out so well, I'm I'm old enough and wise enough to know that to not be critical of those doctors or the work they did. There are probably some technical aspects of this procedure that make it more difficult. So I shouldn't just assume nobody else knows how to do it, but I'm so great I do. Um and and I say that to the patient and present it accordingly to underpromise. But then once I'm in the OR, it's game on. I want to do the best I can. Of course I want to be the best and do it. But um, then patients perceive it as a as a nice surprise. So I'm glad it worked out so well for you. And certainly you you can't look much better. So congrats.
Speaker 1Thank you. They're my favorite set. I've always said that. Like the third time's a charm. They're my favorite, favorite set.
Speaker 2Isn't that nice? As we get older, some things get better. So um at least for you.
Speaker 1So uh Well, so tell me, what should patients be on the lookout when they're on the hunt for a plastic surgeon?
Speaker 2That's a great question. Um I think uh number one, credentials. I'm big on that. You want to see somebody who's gone to the top schools for college, for med schools, the most prestigious residency programs. Of course, they need to be a board-certified plastic surgeon, but don't take that for granted because there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of doctors who uh kind of present themselves as having credentials that they don't really have, such as a board certified, and then they mumble the last part of what it is. You want a board-certified plastic surgeon, otherwise, you know, you don't go to the uh electrician if you have a plumbing issue. So, you know, definitely get that as a minimum. Okay, there are plenty of plastic surgeons out there. Then I would I would um look at their photo gallery on their website because you know I'm one of those um people very much is a trust but verify. Uh most plastic surgeons are fairly uh charismatic and can explain why they're so great and come across really well. But also the vast majority won't have the pictures to back it up. And the really the the reason why doctors wouldn't have pictures on there is if they don't have the results. And we all have a lot of patients who don't give us permission to use pictures, but some of them do uh for all of us. And so I think that's a very fair basis uh to compare doctors. There are very good surgeons who are really young, but you know, as you might suspect, um having a vast amount of experience is valuable. Um and so somebody who's been doing it, uh plastic surgery for a couple of decades, I would say, in general, is uh really helpful. I think it's useful also to look at their credentials, their pictures, their reviews online, their social media. Does it all fit together and make sense? You know, somebody who has lame or maybe unimpressive credentials, let's say, if they're uh talking about themselves being the greatest in the world, you think that's really true? Are those pictures really supporting it? Do the videos support the pictures? Um I think it's again back to the trust but verify. You have choices. You have a lot of choices out there. So why would you go to somebody who is second best? There's also the old saying, what do they call the doctor who graduates last in his class?
Speaker 1Tell me.
Speaker 2Doctor, the same as the person who graduates first in their class. So it's up to you to decide, well, do you want to do a little bit more due diligence and find the top students and the top trainees, um, or are you just satisfied with going to anybody out there? And, you know, a lot of people research on their cars, on their houses, on their clothing. Uh, you know, surgery is arguably more important than all of those things. So put a little time in the research, and I think it pays off. And this um, you know, with social media and everything that we do, it is very time consuming. And I often wonder to myself, um, is it worth it? Why do I do this? Why do I spend hours each day uh taking time to photograph all of these patients more and to shoot videos on the ones that will let me and to have my uh team editing these videos and posting them and dealing with all the logistics? I mean, it's a lot of stuff. And sometimes I wonder if anybody even looks at it. But it brings me joy when somebody actually does. It's kind of magic when you do that. But the bottom line is that is my work product, and that if if you don't see it, then I'm just a regular guy out there. I'm no different than you know, the next guy in the suite next door. But if you start seeing that with your eyes, it starts to, I think, make some patients realize that maybe they can have one of the best surgeons and best experiences. Um, and they maybe set higher standards then for themselves. And and you know, it brings me pride to have them look at my work. And you know, just like when I was a little boy and I bring home a report card and show it to my parents and say, look at this, I got another A. And I'm so proud of it. Well, that's what I feel like when I do a case like yours now. I I got an A on that. It makes me happy. I want the world to see.
Speaker 1You got an A+.
Speaker 2Thank you. Thank you. Again, I was underpromising there, trying to be more modest, but you're right. I agree with you.
Speaker 1That's a rare quality. That's my point, that's a rare quality. A lot of people don't want to tell you that they can't do something. I don't know if it's ego. I don't know if it's just this uh, you know, they want to pacify you.
Speaker 2I had actually this patient, interestingly, she flew in from London for this. I do this procedure, it's a body lift. I call it the bikini body lift. It's like one of the most dramatic procedures.
Speaker 1I watched your video.
Speaker 2You know, if you see it, it's gonna blow your mind. We actually created a website, bikinibodylift.com, uh, dedicated to the procedure because it's such a big deal. For people who have like really flat butts from Ozempic and Monjaro, the GLPs, or from massive weight loss, or if they've had a lot of dimpling from previous liposuction or genetics or aging, um, or maybe they just had three kids and went through menopause, and and all of a sudden they lost some of that skin elasticity that and they no longer look good in a bikini when it's time they become empty nesters, they have the time and money to go on these beach vacations, yet they're embarrassed and covering up. Now they're starting to have grandchildren, they want to take them to the beach or take the family, extended family on a vacation because they worked hard to save up for that, but they're embarrassed to be in a bikini. They have a boat with their husband who brings them great joy, but you don't want to go out in the boat because then you have to put on a bikini and you have to see the deterioration of kind of what happens with time. It's um, you know, we've all seen advertisements, you know, it seems like every time I've been to the grocery store since I was a little boy, there are advertisements about some new cure for cellulite. Um but this actually works. Like it blows away anything else. If you look at the photo gallery of bikinibodylift.com, you'll see it's so dramatic. But if nobody, if you don't, if you're not aware of it, okay, you'll just assume, oh, it's not possible. So once I figured out how to do this after various permutations of it for 25 plus years of private practice, I was so excited, I kind of didn't know what to do. I'm like, I can't even believe how good these results are. And and the world needs to see this. Like, I don't know how to do that, but it's but I've got to put it out there because if you're in London or Dubai or Beijing or New York or just down the streets uh in Los Angeles, and you have any pro problem remotely close to this, you're gonna want to check out these pictures and videos. So that's a long-winded introduction to this patient who um who came out here from London and uh was just so pleased uh with her results. It was was a after going to surgeons all over the world and having them try it and fail. And then she went to a surgeon actually in London who I think was a wise, very experienced doctor. And he told her it was so difficult to do it, he felt like it was unethical to even try, which is kind of a shocking thing to say. Like, are you really so confident in your abilities that anybody who can do anything better is actually unethical for trying? Anyway, suffice it to say, that was another happy ending for her. It was one of the most important days of her life, and we really we got an A plus on that one too. And it just reinforces um it's not easy to do for me. It's it's hard work, but you know, it's my craft. I I love it. It's uh the easy stuff should be for somebody else now. I like the hard stuff that, you know, requires some experience.
Speaker 1You've perfected two signature procedures, haven't you?
Speaker 2Well, yes, that is another really nice thing about my practice. It's diverse. I do great bodywork and really beautiful face work. And so the traceless deep plane face and neck lift also gets a lot of publicity, I think, because the results are so dramatic in the decades that I can shave off in their appearance. Yet I would say pretty much every time the patient doesn't look like they've had a bunch of plastic surgery. They just look beautiful. They look like they're 20 years younger. And that's kind of the holy grail of facial rejuvenation is to make somebody look beautiful and to give them a dramatic improvement. I mean, nobody wants to pay a lot of money and go through recovery to see a barely detectable improvement, right? That's that's not even fun. Uh, but when it's a dramatic improvement, when we accomplish and exceed the expectations, um, and the patient doesn't look like they've had a bunch of blastic surgery, that brings me joy. And patients seem to agree.
Speaker 1What inspired you to uh create these two signature procedures? What was the inspiration?
Speaker 2I would say, you know, well, first of all, you know, since I was a little in kindergarten, I've always wanted to try to be the best at whatever I do. That's just what I do. I dream about it at night, I wake up in the morning, slam down some coffee, and I am ready to go and do whatever I'm gonna do that day and hopefully do it well. So there's that aspect of trying to do something well. But, you know, I went to the best plastic surgery residency program in the world. I finished it like 26 years ago. And those surgeons, you know, there were we probably had 20 different faculty members there, and these were among the best surgeons in the world and definitely the best for certain procedures. And we did this huge quantity of surgery, and of course, I would pick their brains for advice and about the issues of specialization versus doing all of these different procedures. And I asked this one surgeon, made a big impression on me. He was certainly one of the top two or three facelift surgeons in the world by pretty much worldwide consensus at the time. And I asked him about these arm lifts that he was doing and the breast surgery. Like, why is he doing that when he's the facelift guy? And he said, well, because I'm not just the facelift guy. Yes, I have a really big reputation for that, but that can be boring doing the same thing every day. You know how many tens of thousands of these I do? Why would I limit myself to that? Like, I know these patients, I can do a great job on the arms and breasts, just look at the pictures. And and he said to me, Dave, you know, do not let them pigeonhole you. Do not limit yourself. You are way better than that. It and and you can do it. So just don't think that you have to settle for one little area. And so I asked patients to, when they ask me that question, shouldn't I go see a specialist? Should I instead I say, why don't you just pick whatever category of procedure you want and compare my pictures and videos to whoever else you think my competition is? Don't hold it against me that we have world-class results in other areas too. So that addresses kind of the expertise area and kind of what I what I set out to do, not to just do it the easy way. But the second thing is, is you know, volume really helps. So I'm I'm a very busy surgeon. I always have been. That's what I like to do. I work long hours just because it's fun. And um and I was doing a ton of cases early on of patients who lost a lot of weight. And then uh we got a big reputation for doing that, and then TV shows started asking me to do this. It's almost pre-social media, really, with um uh uh NBC's biggest loser TV show invited me on to be their guest and expert. And then ABC's extreme makeover weight loss edition was a really big one. I did over 30 transformations on patients who had lost more than 200 pounds. Incredibly stressful, kind of high-risk stuff, but in every case, probably the most important day of that patient's life. And so I was obviously pretty good at it for them to ask me to do that. But then in doing all these really difficult cases with three cameras and audio on me at all times for worldwide broadcast, um, I mean, that's a lot of pressure. So um I learned a lot in doing those cases. Obviously, millions of people watch the TV shows and thousands of those people uh called up wanting surgery, and a lot of them flew out here to Los Angeles. So when I have that kind of volume of these cases, I get better and better at it. And it's not always people who've lost 200, and maybe they lost 50 and then 20, and then moms start coming to me. Dr. Stoker, you did this tummy tuck. I mean, it looked amazing. Can't you do that for my butt also and the back side? And I kind of nervously started thinking, you know, okay, maybe this is for even the aging model who's now a mom. Like it doesn't have to be for somebody who lost 200 pounds. And once I was able to deliver those kind of results with confidence, then it really opened up almost the whole world for this kind of surgery as we're aging. And it gives me a lot of satisfaction. So it's experience in doing a lot of cases, um, uh want striving to be the best. The other thing that may or may not be obvious is when you're trying to get the best results in plastic surgery, it's not a relaxing position for the surgeon to be in. Because if you just do a little bit, a little bit of a lift here, a little bit right down here, there's less risk of having problems. The recovery is going to be super fast. And then you do the before and afters, and you've got the same situation that you had to start. Why'd you do anything at all? Why would you pay a lot of money and take time off to do that? On the other hand, if you push too far, okay, you have an increased complication rate. You know, this is stressful for the tissues. More undermining, more tension, more layers, more whatever you're doing, more procedures uh combined to intermixing. So, but you need to push it somewhat in life if you're going to get beautiful results like this. So you wouldn't want to just try that without a ton of experience, but incrementally, over the course of tens of thousands of cases, you start out with the best training, you're pushing it every day, trying to get the best, trying to learn from every experience, trying to make sure you never repeat any negative experiences. You know, it it's it's nice to arrive at this point in my life where I have a lot of confidence when I see cases that, like, yeah, I've I've seen this one before. I know how this is going to turn out. Even as I say that, it's giving me goosebumps right now. It's kind of silly.
Speaker 1But you really love what you do. I think that's pretty clear.
Speaker 2You can tell, huh?
Speaker 1I can tell. You're very passionate about it.
Speaker 2I mean, I get I feel very lucky that I uh that I chose a career that I enjoy this much at this stage of my career that I I hope I can do it for you know much, much longer. We'll we'll see.
Speaker 1What's your philosophy in your approach to plastic surgery?
Speaker 2Hmm. My philosophy. Well, I would say first of all, I I strive to achieve natural appearing results. I don't like kind of way overdone, obvious plastic surgery in general. Um, so I think that I I'm very kind of uptight and professional, you know, in general. So I'm I'm not a goofball, I'm not gonna be dancing on my social media. I think we would only lose followers anyway if I did that. So I I just strive to be the best beginning to end. I want I want to have, you know, present myself as being one of the best. I want my team and my office to also be consistent with that. And I want to enhance people's lives by doing unusually great jobs with their surgery. And I want to give them really good advice. I want to treat them like I would treat my family. I mean, I I like I love people in general. I think I I'm privileged when somebody comes to my office, they pay close attention because they they've researched it and they you know have a lot invested in this and and I value that and I feel like I have a tight bond with my patients. I mean you're a good example. You know, we've known each other a while and you're asking me to do this now. Obviously, it had a positive influence on you. You had a positive experience, and it's fun.
Speaker 1Well, it's it's your whole team, you know, to your point. You have a a great group of uh people working for you, and the whole experience is um very positive. Positive. So so many people are on uh Ozempic right now. Are you seeing an uptick in procedures because of this?
Speaker 2Oh yes. Yes, no, no question. Um and I'd see that there are many great things about Ozempic and Munjaro. I mean, so many people, especially Americans, but all over the the world, struggled with obesity. It's such a terrible problem. It affects every organ system in your body, takes over their life, so all they can think about is this food, trying to avoid food or wanting more food. I mean, it's no secret. That's, you know, obviously been all over the news and in our personal experiences for basically my whole life. And um now this stuff actually works. That's incredible. So for people's health, it's amazing that they save fewer heart attacks and strokes, for you know, a lot less knee replacements and hip replacements, fewer hernias and gallbladders, all this is wonderful to diminish all of that. But if they then look at in the mirror afterwards and their face is hanging, the jowls and the neck is sagging, and their butt is flat, um it steals away some of the joy, obviously. So so people, we've always been busy, but I would say prior to the advent of Ozempic and Munjaro and similar, um, a lot of patients would come in substantially overweight trying to persuade the surgeon to do the surgery. And in my case, and the vast majority of those, I'm gonna say, okay, you could be a good candidate, I could do this surgery, but if you lose 30 or 50 pounds, I can get a much better result with a much lower risk of complications. And this is what's really gonna make you happiest, and I think is the right thing to do. And of course, some other surgeons might say, sure, I'll do it and just do it. And and there's a spectrum like that. I think it's a good thing that more patients now are good candidates for the surgery, um, as opposed to less good candidates for the surgery who are gonna do it anyway. Um and then of course, you know, I I saw some crazy stat about a significant double-digit percentage of people in the world who are now on a GLP. I I don't know if it's true or not, but that's a crazy high number. That if if a substantial percentage of the world is actually doing this now, wow. So I don't expect um any shortage of business in the future. Let's just say that.
Speaker 1You're so busy. How do you decompress?
Speaker 2Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1Are you a golfer? Are you do you meditate? What do you what does Dr. Stoker do to decompress?
Speaker 2I'd say I number one, I work out at the gym, maybe three times a week. That's an important part of my life. I wish I could do it every day, but I can't, especially on OR days when we start early. I haven't been able to figure that out. I'm like, I wake up with like one goal in mind. It's hard for me to think about anything but surgery when I'm when I'm when it's one of those days. Um that's a big part. Hanging out with my wife. My wife's wonderful. She's a great cook. Um, we have a beautiful home. And going home to her and the healthy meals and the whatever we're up to that night is really what most of the remaining time is. And I'd say that we have an active social life. We go to we host and go to lots of dinner parties, which is kind of fun for me. I like people in conversation. We have lots of you know great friends from all over the world we've we've accumulated over the decades, and and we try to promote that. And then uh we travel a lot. Uh we're empty nesters now with kids. Uh our daughters are out of town, um, and we like to visit them and do trips. And so we travel a ton also when I'm not here. And it's it is nice also with you know, phones these days. I can do I can be on the other side of the world and be videoing with patients. And and for that matter, my patients are all over the world anyway. So so um, you know, it's not like I'm I'm not working when I'm doing that. I'm uh I'm thinking about it anyway, as I'm, you know, uh as I'm traveling and having fun. So I I don't know that I'm decompressing, I I'd say maybe diversifying my life experience by doing other things than just surgery.
Speaker 1So with so many years in practice, you must have some incredible stories, some very amusing stories, without breaking in any any uh confidentiality. Are you able to share some of your or one of your most memorable uh moments?
Speaker 2Wow, that's uh well let me let me stall while I I am thinking about that. I I did not prepare anything about a vast library, but like I do love stories, and I would say that you know, my wife is actually a clinical psychologist too, so it's always anonymous when we have conversations, but like, what did you do today? Well, what did you do? Well, it's never boring when we do that. I I kind of dread someday when I'm retired and I don't come home with a half dozen uh great stories about whatever I've seen or done that day. But um oh, I don't know. I well let's say, okay, here's just a fun one for me. There's there was um there was okay, there's a there's a a man in the Middle East who is a very wealthy entrepreneur and and has a business we've all heard of that's all over airports, all over the world, and and he had a history of obesity in his family. And I operated these huge transformations, face and body stuff, on uh two or three of his kids. And then he brought in his wife. And and every time it involves flying from the Middle East, I'm gonna keep it vague. And this is a woman in a burqa, and she clearly looked depressed to me, just so depressed. And she did not look very good under the burqa for lots of reasons and her health and the history of weight gain and weight loss. And but she was encouraged by her her children to go ahead and do this surgery. And and we saw this incredible transformation uh uh in in her, she was smiling in the office. She she actually gave me a hug. And my her children said, for this Muslim woman, she says, I am the only person, only male she has ever hugged other than her son and her husband in her whole life. And um, so that made me feel pretty good. And then six months goes by, and uh the older um uh patriarch of the family brings me another wife of his for the same thing. So that's pulls me aside. He says, Don't mention my first wife uh to the second wife. And I'm not sure how many he has, but let's just say I'm glad that his family is prospering and and uh and doing well. And then the one other caveat I would say, okay, this is so because there are these are like people, he's always often in the Middle East, but his kids are all over the world, and and um you know, and I'm connecting with them all the time for surgeries or plan or logistics or some other family member, and it's like almost like they're an extension of my family in a way. Um, but when we had the COVID thing, you know, about uh a few years back, and they shut down our practice, okay. He I think he was the only person that made a point of calling me up at that moment from the Middle East, he called me. And he said, Dr. Stoker, you know, I've been reading a news, it sounds terrible. I'm so sorry they're shutting down your city and shutting down your business. You know, I just want you to know that we're all thinking of you, and we're thinking of the patients out there who are struggling with COVID, and you know, we're a long ways away, but you're still in our minds and our hearts here. And I thought, what a great, nice gesture. It just made me feel happy in a stressful time, and it's just kind of you know, you can't get enough of the those endorphins feeling like you're doing a good job, people appreciate it, they come back for more. Who wouldn't enjoy a job like that?
Speaker 1What's the most rewarding aspect of being a plastic surgeon?
Speaker 2I think it depends on the doctor, of course, but for me, what is the most rewarding thing? Oh I I would say that I'm kind of hedging my bets here, but I'd say it's the intersection of science and art and human connection and the pursuit of excellence, and you put all of that together, and I think it's I'd add into there, you know, being valued for what I do. For instance, I have a friend who's a very successful investment banker, but he says very or uh he speaks very eloquently about how it's been really, from his perspective, kind of an empty feeling, an empty profession, because he says he makes uh a lot of money for some old rich guys who he's never met, never will meet, doesn't even he's not even certain who they are, and they certainly have never said thank you in his whole life. But he gets his big paycheck every month, and he's got bills and he's got expectations, and this is just what he does, so he's gonna keep doing it. But that sounds terrible to me compared to like to all the human connection, all the people today that I talked to before coming on this podcast. It's that's always different, and I get to do all those things that I love every day. Art, science, personal connection, the pursuit of excellence, making a big difference in people's lives and being appreciated for it.
Speaker 1The fact that you get to do what you love, so many of us, so many people don't get a chance to do that at all.
Speaker 2Yes, that is one of the you know most for sure most important decisions you make in your life, and of course you can do it change along the way, but choosing a path that's you know going to uh bring you joy, hopefully also pay the bills, you know, and allow you to have a family and do the other things that you want to do realistically. But if you can get all of that in one, you know, tight package and call that your career, that's a win. So I feel quite fortunate.
Speaker 1Plastic surgery isn 't for everyone. Have you had an experience with it, good or bad, that you'd like to share? What are you feeling? Talk to me. If you have a similar experience you'd like to share, drop me an email or a DM at Open Hearts Hidden Truth.
