In Flux: When the Past Returns

I reflect on the decline of Los Angeles, and how life is always in flux. Ebb and flow is inevitable, and can even bring a surprising reconnection from the past.

What if a simple text rekindled a relationship you thought was over?

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Transcript

Intro

Speaker 0:14

This is Shamron, and you're listening to Open Hearts, Hidden Truths. I was running errands the other day in a Waymo in a really nice commercial area of the city.

A Steady Decline

Speaker 0:26

Building after building after building. Closed. Vacant. So many businesses have left LA. They've left the city. It started during the pandemic. And it's just continued on. A lot of the production here is no longer shot in the city. It's no longer shot in LA. It's shot in Australia, Romania, Atlanta, all sorts of other places. So the loss of the entertainment business has greatly affected the economy here. It's affected retail. It's affected restaurants. Florists. Just a lot of businesses in general that you wouldn't think would be affected, but they are affected. They have been shuttered down from all the changes in the past couple of years. Just everywhere you go, I mean Robertson, Melrose, all throughout the city. The vacancies. It's so sad and depressing. LA is a shell of her former self. She's a city who's seen much better days. Makes me sad. Makes me feel depressed. When I look around and I see what she's become as someone who's been here for twenty-five, twenty-six years. She is a shell of her former self. I'd like to think she's going to get back on her feet at some point. At some point, there has to be a turnaround. Things get worse before they get better. Things are pretty bad. Crime. Infrastructure, crumbling, insane regulations and taxes and red tape, making it difficult for people in every possible way, whether it's rebuilding a house after a fire, whatever. It is insanely regulated here in California. But so I was just driving past a lot of these places and thinking of how things used to be in the early aughts. Things were so fun then. It was a fun time to be here. The city was thriving. And as I was looking at these places that have had several incarnations over the years, they've had several, many different lives, many different businesses occupied.

Ghosts from the Past

Speaker 3:23

I started thinking of a good friend of mine. Someone I've known for twenty years. Missing him. It was some sort of a rift, I guess you could say. I mean, there were there were some personal challenges that he was going through. And that affected me. That affected me. And I think in some way I took a lot of that personally. This has nothing to do with that person that I that I spoke about a few months ago, totally unrelated. But I think a lot of it too was just miscommunication. We weren't on the same page. We were we, I think, misunderstood each other, and I didn't think that he wanted anything to do with me. And so holidays passed, birthdays passed, a lot of moments that we both could have used a soothing ear or an empathetic shoulder past. So I got home. It wasn't that kind of a reaching out. It was just it was just, I want you to know I'm thinking of you. I miss you. We've been through so many ups and downs over the years. So much chaos, so much fun, so much history. And it was just this time when I was feeling a little low. I thought, you know, life is short. And I just want him to know that I miss him. And that I hope he's well. So that's exactly what I said in my text. I hope you're well. Just thinking of you. Life is short. Take care. And to my surprise, he texted me back. I wasn't sure if he really wanted to engage beyond just, hey, thanks for reaching out. How are you? So I was kind of cautious with what I said, you know, my my responses. I was sort of like, I don't know, I was sort of bracing myself for maybe something tepid. So I kind of cautiously dipped my toes back into the conversation. But the whole point of reaching out wasn't to spark dialogue because I didn't think that we would. I didn't think he wanted to talk to me, but I needed him to know I care about you. I genuinely hope you're well. And that turned into an hour and a half long conversation over the phone. He lives in a different part of the country than I do, so it was wonderful catching up with him. Clearing the air. We had both been through so much over the last two years. A lot of changes. Some good, some not so good, some of it complicated. But to hear that familiar voice and to know that someone who is totally on my side, who's got my back, who's always had my back, is back in my life. I'm very grateful. I'm grateful that I swallowed my pride, my ego, my hesitation. I threw caution to the wind. I didn't care if I didn't hear back from him. I just wanted him to know. I'm thinking of you. To reconnect with someone that you have so much history with and so much love for feels so good. And so many times we form stories in our head. We concoct all sorts of scenarios about what the other person may be thinking. And so often that's wrong. It's completely incorrect. Totally off base. Both of us were off base. I thought, you know, if he really wants me in his life, if he really wants to talk to me, then he would have reached out. And he didn't reach out to me because he didn't think that I wanted him in his life. He didn't want to be rejected. So it's all these assumptions that we were both carrying for two years. I think that two-year break was probably a good thing, though. I mean, trying to find the silver lining. Sometimes people need a break. They need to recalibrate. It can give you a whole new appreciation for some. Someone who's truly meaningful in your life. I try to find a silver lining in it anyway. A recalibration. I think that's what that probably is. And I think we both needed to recalibrate.

A Quiet Leap

Speaker 9:57

Who cares if they don't text you back? If someone's really truly meaningful in your life, who cares? Throw it out there. Put it out there. What's the worst that could happen? Someone's got to take that first step. Throw caution to the wind. I'm so glad. I threw caution to the wind. Can you relate to this? Does it strike a chord? Someone in your life who you've fallen out with, but you desperately care for. And you want to reconnect. Someone's got to make that move. And I don't mean to imply that everybody needs a second chance, or perhaps that chapter is over with for a lot of people, for some friendships. Some friendships need to have that chapter closed. Relationships in general, many of them run their course. But sometimes all it takes is one party to say, screw it. I want you in my life. I miss you. I want to know how you are. Even if you don't want to tell me, I want you to know that I want to know how you are, that I'm thinking of you, that you're in my thoughts. And sometimes that's all it takes to get the ball rolling. What are you feeling? Talk to me.

Call to Action

Speaker 11:53

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